Friday Crap Roundup XIX

It’s the longest day of the year! Well, it is if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere.

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Expect 50s in Canberra this weekend. They call it “winter.”
Image credit: Martyman

Anyway, a good many of you get to read the 19th installment of the FCR by daylight.

Somewhere in Zambia, People Are Confused

In case you didn’t notice, last night the Miami Heat beat the San Antonio Spurs to win the NBA championship. Immediately after the final buzzer, Heat players were given hats and T-shirts commemorating the event. That means one thing:

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Cleveland spontaneously combusted … again.
Image credit: United Press International

Well, OK. What I was going for here is that last night – somewhere in Miami’s American Airlines Center – sat unopened boxes of Spurs championship swag. Presumably, that stuff will never see the light of day. You know perfectly well that championship clothing is produced for both teams. So what happens to the loser’s?

Until relatively recently it went straight to the incinerator. However, these days loser’s swag is donated to world aid organizations, which then distribute them to disadvantaged people overseas. Presumably to this day thousands of people in Africa wear shirts declaring the Chicago Bears winners of Super Bowl XLI back in 2007.

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A game the Bears lost.
Image credit: World Vision International

You know it’s only a matter of time before someone out there figures out selling these oddities on Ebay would be a hell of a lot more profitable – not to mention less labor intensive – than yet another idiotic 419 scam. I bet people will pay big bucks for a shirt claiming the Detroit Tigers won the last World Series.

Good Thing He Wasn’t Fueling a Combine

Out in Rupert, Idaho, which is about 45 minutes east of the 2T, the sheriff was charged with a felony today. Specifically, Minidoka County Sheriff Kevin Halverson is accused of using his county gas card for personal use to the tune of about $250.

I find this interesting for a few reasons. For one, it seems to me a felony charge is a bit steep for something like this. Top law enforcement officials shouldn’t be breaking the law, no matter how trivial, so I can see a misdemeanor. But a felony?

For another, just last month Halverson defected from the local Republican Party to become Idaho’s only Libertarian elected official. Minidoka County has been under one-party rule for decades, so it makes one wonder if the fix is in out there.

This very same position was once held by my great-grandfather, who was elected to a single term as Minidoka County Sheriff in (I believe) 1944. I assure you Jake Wall wouldn’t have put up with this crap.

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There were no gas cards then. Or Libertarians for that matter.

Track of the Week

This was supposed to be the Dead Milkmen’s big time follow-up to “Punk Rock Girl.” It didn’t work out that way, but it’s still awesome.

Hi, Rodney.

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