I’m Loathing It

Given my disdain for anything resembling cooking, it’s a wonder I don’t eat out a lot more than I do. All I can say is I’m glad to live in an age of microwaves.

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Otherwise I would have been too downtrodden even by Dickensian standards.

For a myriad of reasons, I avoid McDonald’s like the plague. If I had my druthers, I wouldn’t set foot in the place ever again. Unfortunately they have a playground, and I have an eight-year-old daughter.

I don’t think I’m being terribly controversial by saying McDonald’s is bad for the general public on many levels. Between their habits of simultaneously screwing over and talking down to their horrifically underpaid employees, using unspeakable ingredients in their “food,” and otherwise being oblivious to the world at large, McDonald’s is currently Walmart’s only serious competition when it comes to self-inflicted bad press. No less than Anthony Bourdain said the most disgusting thing he ever ate was a Chicken McNugget.

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This from a guy who was once filmed eating warthog rectum.
Image credit: Neeta Lind

Σ is aware of all of this and more, but every time she’s up here she implores me to take her to the McDonald’s out on Overland and Cole, the one with the huge yet generic Little Tikes indoor playground. The food is an afterthought at best; she has absolutely no interest in going to a McDonald’s without that damn playground.

I firmly stood my ground on Saturday, but by Sunday afternoon she broke me down. Yes, McDonald’s is where you take your kids to eat when they want to play and you no longer give a shit.

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Even the classic McDonaldland-themed equipment I remember disappeared years ago.
Image credit: Jonathan McIntosh

There is hope, though. Σ is quickly approaching the top end of the playground age group. By the time she’s in high school, she’ll undoubtedly come to embrace much of the mindset of the millennial generation ahead of her. You know, the demographic where McDonald’s is not even close to being the number-one restaurant. Hell, it’s not even in the top 10 anymore. By then she may actually willingly go to an Indian restaurant with me.

But judging from her reaction last time I made that suggestion, it’s a few years off.

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