Jan 24

Friday Crap Roundup XXXIII: Crap I Like

When I started SB nearly a year ago the intent was to supplement what I wrote at Cracked. Unfortunately, as of today said contributions at Cracked comprise entirely of a single Photoplasty entry. I haven’t even sent them a proposal in months. It’s very much a lack of desire on my part, and also because I think they’ve slipped a bit recently. Don’t get me wrong, they still produce great stuff from time to time. I’m just not “feeling” them as much anymore.

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Too many movie and video game articles I frankly don’t give a rat’s ass about.
Image credit: Valve Corporation

That said, there’s plenty of other good stuff out there. That’s a good thing, given what kind of a slacker I am.

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Aug 13

Writing Basics, With Pictures!

I have a nasty habit of over-thinking things. Like in high school, when I’d do things like turn the prospect of an innocuous prom date into a 60-year commitment in my head.

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And then forget about the damn thing anyway.
Image credit: TV-INTROS

And so it is with blog entries. No one said I had to write Pulitzer Prize-winning material every damn day. So with that in mind, today’s installment of “Lane Tells You How to Write!” keeps things simple.

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Aug 06

Fight Verbal Diarrhea!

Earlier today I came across a blog which despite having excellent subject matter and multimedia content was damn near impossible to read. The reason? Well, along with the obscene number of grammatical errors, run-on sentences and completely unnecessary transitions, the writer just didn’t know when to shut the hell up and get to the point.

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I mean, I go off on tangents from time to time, but damn ….

There’s way too much of this out there in my humble opinion. Frankly I think English education has a lot to do with it.

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Aug 02

Friday Crap Roundup XXV

I’ve somehow made it to the 25th FCR. That’s nearly half a year of these posts. Sneferu was a mere kitten when I started this blog. Today’s he’s a year old.

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And he can hardly contain himself.

We’ve got a few more weeks until Djoser’s birthday in October. I’m sure that will be equally exciting. In the meantime sit back and enjoy the FCR.

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Jul 25

“Other” Revelations

It’s amazing how quickly a subject for this blog sometimes presents itself.

Since Σ and I are going to Portland in a couple days to see Rush, she’s staying with me beginning tonight. Having just put her to bed, I was resigned to writing tonight about how she’s looking forward to an all-day car trip to Oregon’s I-5 corridor to … “go to the mall.”

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Which, as I told her, makes about as much sense as going to Japan to eat at McDonald’s.

As it turns out, you can thank the UK’s Daily Mail for saving you from reading about that.

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Jul 23

Writing Q & A With Lane

You’d think a topic like Writer’s Tuesday would be easy. At least I did. But when writer’s block gets bad around here, it gets real freakin’ bad.

So today I decided to go to Facebook and Twitter and ask what y’all want to know from a professional writer. I’m glad to say I got enough material to write a halfway presentable entry. Well, at least I did from Facebook.

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I increasingly wonder why I bother with Twitter at all.
Image credit: Ben Ho

Much thanks for letting me bullshit through yet another day here.

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Jul 16

You’re On Report!

Last week’s writing primer proved to be very popular. So much so that I’m seriously considering devoting Tuesdays at SB to a writing workshop of sorts. I’m glad y’all enjoyed it.

When I wrote last week I wasn’t thinking about writing as a school assignment. I personally haven’t done anything like that in over 15 years. However according to my search stats that’s what people want to read about. I should have known better.

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It takes a special kind of mutant to do what I do.

This week, I’m happy to oblige.

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Jul 09

Lane Tells You How To Write!

This is SB’s 150th post since its launch in February. Some of you are no doubt asking, “Lane, how the hell did you write 150 original posts in such a short time?”

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“And is it your ‘sesqui-crap-tennial’?”
Image credit: Idaho State Historical Society

Well, it’s worth noting that SB isn’t my first writing gig by a long shot. I’ve been published in several places over the past 20 years or so. I worked as an acquisitions editor for a small publishing house in Philadelphia. While there a few years ago I helped produce a biography called From Bordello to Ballot Box. I think it’s safe to say I know what I’m doing.

So wanna write like me? The following is by no means an exhaustive how-to, but it should get you started.

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Jul 04

Did I Write This?

I’m becoming increasingly nocturnal. Today is a perfect case in point. It’s 10 p.m. as of this writing and I just got up.

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Yeah, that’s about right.
Image credit: Frank Vassen

Or at least I THINK I’m up ….

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Jun 24

Messing With Spammers, Part Deux

Y’all have one track minds. Nearly four months later, “Messing With Spammers” is still SB’s most-read post, and “gr8tits2play” is still its top search term. In the case of the latter, second place isn’t even close. This in spite of my ongoing efforts to provide high quality content, or something.

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“Strom Thurmond takes a dump” remains my favorite search term to date.

Well, fine. I know how to take a hint.

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