Sep 02

Walk Against Boredom

Nothing like skull-crushing boredom to make you do something you haven’t done for awhile. That’s right, it’s time to change things up around here!

What did I do? Ha ha! I went outside.

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Hrm. Looks like rain.

Yes, it really has been that boring recently.

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Jul 18

Bored and Barricaded

The last few days I’ve been afflicted with a nasty combination of wakefulness and lethargy. You know, like you feel when you’ve done nothing but drink coffee all day with no other sustenance to speak of.

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Come to think of it, that’s exactly what I’ve done today.
Image credit: Takkk

This could be blamed on any number of things over the last few days, such as being bipolar, oppressive heat, or just being older. That’s been my frame of mind today, anyway.

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Jun 23

The Sunday Doldrums

As a writer, I really hate having absolutely no inspiration whatsoever. Recently Sunday evenings have been the worst. It’s hard to write about your condition when you have no condition.

I’ve often wondered out loud if I should start taking Sundays off from SB, but to date I haven’t made any sort of firm commitment.

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“So another throwaway post, eh Lane?”

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Jun 11

In Search of Sexual Perestroika

A few days ago I wrote of my disdain for dating sites. In the short time since that post has already become the second most-viewed in the history of SB, second only to my exposé of gr8tits2play. That in turn implies my readership is – if nothing else – sexually frustrated.

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“But if you do, make sure your tetanus shots are up to date!”
Image credit: Frank Serritelli

The thing is, these days I’m not sexually frustrated in the slightest. I’m just bored.

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Apr 13

Treatise on a Boring Saturday

The worst enemies of a blog like this are boredom and mediocrity. Unfortunately, today is rife with both. A day to drink water, get a headache and contemplate the depressing silence enveloping you. It’s bland, blasé. Dare I say stagnant?

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Yes, comrades. I dare.

Although it’s sunny out, it’s one of those windy days you’d just as soon not be a part of. You know it’s cold. You don’t have to go outside or look at the weather. Crispness is seen in the air by those in the know. That in turn keeps you inside … where absolutely shit bloody nothing is happening.

It’s that time of year in the 2T. Especially during March and April, southern Idaho has a hard time remembering what the hell season it is. One day it’s an idyllic spring wonderland. The next, your internal barometer wonders if the Idaho State Bengals lost their football game yet, or if the ass-whipping this week has an evening kickoff. Many other places experience this phenomenon, but it’s here where I grew up and therefore here I write about.

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It used to be worse.

Back in the 80s a day like this was made to watch golf, mainly because nothing else was on. Also because to this day that’s pretty much all Dad watches on the weekends. Yes, even now I can hear the announcer’s forebodingly soothing intonations as Craig Stadler‘s ball finds the water hazard on 16. “Deep into a watery grave.” So much for his chances at that year’s Bob Hope Desert Classic.

After the United Airlines golf sign-off the day invariably degenerated further into the likes of a bad TV movie or worse, The Love Boat followed by Fantasy Island. There are very few specific memories from these ordeals. It’s all a blur of Charo, polyester and toothpaste commercials.

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“Abandon all hope, ye who sail with Gopher.”

Later on I’d try to break the monotony with bike trips to the neighborhood Circle K and/or 7-11. But Big Gulps only go so far in terms of entertainment value. Barring something unexpectedly cool such as a hailstorm, the day would lethargically and mercifully.

Sunday might be a better day, but after Saturdays like this the odds were never good.