Apr 08

Resetting the Circadian Rhythm

For years my sleep schedule has been off. Every few months or so, it gets so FUBAR I find it difficult to function during daylight hours in any capacity. I’ve found the best remedy for this is to stay up all night and as much as possible the next day, completing tasks as I go. When I was in college I occasionally extended these “reset” sessions to 60 hours, but I can’t do that anymore.

Well, the time has come to make it happen. Again. My agenda before any thought of sleep is as follows:

– Take care of the daily SB post. If you’re reading this, check.
– Stay up until at least 11 am.
– Call the paramedics and answer their questions about my head injury.
– Pick up a prescription and get some stuff at the supermarket.

That’s it. It may not sound like much, and frankly it isn’t. But when you’re bipolar and on the down side like I am right now, it’s a busy day. I don’t want to let any of this go until Tuesday, y’all. If I let myself sleep until 5 pm again, it probably will.

With that in mind, here’s the timeline of the previous night … and the day. Yup, this entry is going to be even more stream of consciousness than usual.

12:52 am

Caffeine plays a major role in these resets. I have some Cherry Coke, but soda doesn’t really do the job. Nope, this calls for a hot caffeinated drink, and lots of it. My caffeine of choice for a situation like this is Peet’s Major Dickason’s Blend coffee.

Unfortunately, I’m out of Peet’s. The only coffee I have in the Command Center at the moment is a contemptuously cheap, obnoxiously bitter store brand “100% Colombian” blend I unwisely bought a couple years ago. Juan Valdez’s goat wouldn’t touch this stuff.

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And it’s seriously expired too. Score.

Well, I guess I’d better try tea. I know I have some of that around here somewhere ….

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Dammit.

Next attempt, an unopened box of Fred Meyer Tea Bags. The date stamp was very faint, too faint to photograph. I think it said … “BESTBY AUG2606.” Holy shit, I haven’t even been on my own that long. That’s bad even by my standards.

One more shot: the Red Rose Earl Grey.

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Qapla’!

A truly embarrassing trip to Jackson’s avoided, I press on.

2:27 am

On my third cup of Earl Grey, I began playing Civilization IV: Warlords, which is a great way to kill a few hours. With my Pandora app up, it’s time for some empire-building. Yes, I’m well aware there’s a Civilization V and has been for several years. I’m not much of a gamer.

7:24 am

Wow, that worked better than I expected. These Civ IV games eat up time, but rarely last five freakin’ hours. I won. Then again, I always play on the easiest setting because I’m a wanker like that. Ha ha.

Mao

Chairman Mao thought he could take me on. He was very sorely mistaken.

Time to change the Pandora station. The likes of Yes, Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd – as much as I dig them – are getting old. Some Erasure perhaps? Nah, too poppy for my current state of mind. Gabriel & Dresden it is.

7:39 am

Contact lenses aren’t meant to be worn for this long, at least as not as far as I’m concerned. Switched to glasses. Also changed underwear. I’m not incontinent or anything; it’s just those damn chafing waistbands ….

8:29 am

The paramedic office has been contacted. I’m glad that’s out of the way.

10:02 am

I’d say I’m about seven cups of tea into things at this point. I started coming down with a headache and a sore throat, so I took some ibuprofen to knock that out. It seems to be working. In the meantime I verified this site with Google, Bing, Pinterest and Alexa. I really don’t get the appeal of Pinterest, but whatever.

10:36 am

Went downstairs to check the mail and take out the trash. I figured this would be a good time to see if there was anything else expired in the kitchen. Turns out there was. To wit, cappuccino mix, microwave popcorn, rice, Pasta Roni, a loaf of bread, horseradish, three cans of soup, two bottles of pancake syrup, mini ravioli, peas, olive oil, garlic pepper, Italian herb seasoning … and a can of spicy Indian poppadum chips. Yeah, buddy.

Saltmill

Apparently salt doesn’t go bad. That’s probably just as well.

11:40 am

Just read Margaret Thatcher died. In recognition I’ve been watching old Spitting Image clips.

Why can’t they import this concept from the UK instead of crap like American Idol?

1:07 pm

The day’s stated agenda is complete. As an added bonus I changed the cat box and did the dishes. My supply of Peet’s is replenished, so I can dispense with the Jean-Luc Picard schtick.

Although it’s rather crisp outside, for the first time this year I saw noticeable leaves on the neighborhood deciduous trees. The HOA also had the sprinklers going. That was a nice way to end things for the day. I’m going to try to stay up a few more hours, but I daresay mission accomplished.

I just hope I don’t have to do this again for awhile.

Mar 26

Tales of a Soda Jerk

I’ve always been a big fan of soda. When I was a kid, around 11 or 12, I was known to drink an entire six-pack in a single day. This was a great source of consternation among my parents, especially Dad. At a certain point they switched primarily to caffeine-free and/or diet sodas, which I found increasingly unpalatable.

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Bleah.
Image credit: Roadsidepictures

Nevertheless, having a much stronger stomach in those days I drank the diet stuff anyway. It tasted like I was prematurely embalming myself, but whatever. Sometimes when money was tight we’d step down further into the bowels of Shasta Cola land. That low-end stuff was just as bad, if not worse. With the notable exception of generic black cherry soda – which I still buy from time to time – I came to hate that stuff with a passion.

Speaking of cherry, a watershed moment in my soda life came in 1985 with the introduction of Cherry Coke or, as the marketing department calls it now, “Coca-Cola Cherry.” This stuff was the bomb and a prized commodity indeed as far as my 12-year-old mind was concerned. It almost made up for the New Coke blunder.

CherryCoke80s

Pictured: 80s ambrosia.

I don’t know if I was imagining it at the time, but it seemed like back when Cherry Coke came out the intensity of the cherry flavoring varied randomly from can to can. If you got a can with less flavoring, it was still OK. But if you got a can on the high end, oh man, you had yourself the best soda experience ever. I hesitate to say it’s my favorite childhood memory, but it’s definitely in the top 10. Sadly, it appears whatever consistency issues Coca-Cola had with the product are long since corrected, as I haven’t noticed the discrepancy for years.

No entry like this would be complete without a discussion of the long-running “cola wars” between Coke and Pepsi. When I was younger I preferred Pepsi. However, this slowly began to change with the introduction of Cherry Coke. By high school I was a firm Coke partisan.

A lot of people say they can’t tell the difference between Pepsi and Coke, but I can. However, the infamous New Coke tasted just like Pepsi to me. So if you’re too young to remember New Coke, in my opinion you didn’t miss much. I suppose in an alternate reality where New Coke was successful Pepsi and Coke taste the same, but not in my reality.

Some of my favorite Coke products, such as Mello Yello and Mr. Pibb (er, excuse me, “Pibb Xtra“), are maddeningly hard to find around here. Another favorite, Surge, has been gone for years. So when I’m in that mood I settle for Mountain Dew or Dr. Pepper instead.

Mr._Pibb

With Coke it’s either cutsey marketing names … or bad grammar apparently.

As I’ve aged I become less partial to sweet things in general. As a result I don’t drink nearly as much soda as I used to. As you’ve probably noticed I call it “soda.” Most people around here call it “pop.” I did too as a kid. That changed after I moved back east and stuck. Call it a personality quirk, or something.

Oh yeah. Now that I’m ostensibly a grownup I don’t drink diet soda, at all. I’m not ready to be embalmed yet.