Apr 22

A Gift to Google

SB has been around for nearly three months. In that time I’ve managed to cover nearly 1,300 topics in over 70 posts and probably in the neighborhood of 10,000 words, the size of a short book. Naturally, that’s caused some disparate search engine traffic. Today I want to share the highlights of those searches with you. For one, it’s funny. For another, it’s yet another lazy-ass way to put a post together.

These findings are based on Google searches, as Bing and the others didn’t have a lot of material to work with. I know many of you were looking for something other than a silly-ass blog from Idaho, so I’m trying to help out with some facts about the topics you really want to read about. I’ve already covered SB’s top search query, “gr8tits2play,” several times. I’m not going to discuss that further today.

Main Street Guitar Company

Despite being mentioned a grand total of once here before today, SB appears as the third link in a Google search for this term. That tells me there’s not a whole hell of a lot of information on this company.

It appears Main Street Guitar Company is (or more likely, was) based in Cedar City, Utah, of all places. The company has no web site, and every indication is the Cedar City location is no longer in business. As for my Main Street bass, it was made in China. I can tell because the sticker on the back of the headstock clearly says so.

National_Emblem_of_the_People's_Republic_of_China.svg

My phone battery is charging. You’re just gonna have to trust me on this one.

As for the quality, I can tell you I paid well under $100 for my instrument used. Glean from that what you will.

Feodor I

History Wednesday’s top contribution to Google appears to be its account of the hapless 16th Century Russian czar. SB makes a first-page appearance for the term, ahead of entries from such august scholastic organizations such as, um, Answers.com.

Feodor_I_of_Russia_-_Project_Gutenberg_eText_20880

Feodor would be 455 years old if he were alive today. How about that?

As for Feodor’s much better-known father, Ivan the Terrible … yeah. I have my SEO work cut out for me on that one.

Honey Boo Boo

Uh oh. Google’s webmaster tools tell me SB has an average search rank of 11th for this train wreck. Thankfully, an actual search proves this isn’t the case. Google doesn’t even have me in the first 10 pages …

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… yet. Oh, this could get ugly.
Image credit: ~AngryDogDesigns

My Favorite Search Terms

Of course, not all the search terms that stick around here have any staying power. Many are simply hilarious, such as:

“desirable outcome carnival cruise triumph”
“when did a trading post at moose factory get stupid”
“has anybody really thought about the logistics to the movie air bud”
“strom thurmond takes a dump”
“do cats try crap on astro turf”
“ghaddafi leisure suit”
“what in the hell is going on at idaho state university”

“The last time I saw people covered in that much feces they were touring the White House with Al Roker!”

Beautiful. Keep it up, y’all.

Oh yeah, for fans of SEO, “gr8tits2play.” Ha, ha!

Apr 09

State of the Blog

It’s gonna be a short, choppy post today. My synapses are firing about as poorly as a Cobra Commander-led offensive.

cobratroops

That is, even worse than a Star Wars battle.

I recently gave SB more search engine analysis apart from what WordPress graciously provides us bloggers. According to the fine folks at Alexa, SB is currently the 14,924,888th most popular site on the Internet. You know I’m humming the theme from The Jeffersons upon receiving that news.

Yesterday’s experiment left me wiped out. I used to recover quicker than this, but I also used to be in my 20s. Only 18 views as of 8:45 pm Command Center time today? That’s bad even for this silly-ass site. I guess y’all want to take a nap too. Well, except those of you looking for “gr8tits2play,” which is still by far this site’s most popular search engine query:

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She ain’t here! She ain’t anywhere! Damn ….
Image credit: Don Hitchcock

The Idaho state song occasionally produces hits. Until today I thought this was the most pointless site on the Internet to mention “Here We Have Idaho.” I was wrong.

At least the History Wednesday feature snags some intelligent queries. Be sure to come back tomorrow for this week’s installment. It will be a good one.

So, um … that’s it for today. Oh yeah, I’ll shamelessly mention “gr8tits2play” one more time to get that sweet, sweet SEO traffic.