Aug 27

Do As I Say ….

Novelist, scriptwriter and master yarn spinner Elmore Leonard died last week at age 87. He was working on his 47th book.

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Meanwhile, I’m failing miserably trying to get to number two.

I never read him, but I came across some of his writing rules the other day. I like them, so I’m sharing them for my weekly writing clinic.

Yeah, I’m kind of phoning it in today.

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Aug 09

Friday Crap Roundup XXVI

Hi kids! Once again, tonight’s Friday Crap Roundup comes straight outta the 2T.

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Now with 10 percent more urban decay!

Σ says she has a full weekend planned for me, so I’d better get cracking on this while I can still get enough sleep. That’s the theory, anyway ….

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Aug 06

Fight Verbal Diarrhea!

Earlier today I came across a blog which despite having excellent subject matter and multimedia content was damn near impossible to read. The reason? Well, along with the obscene number of grammatical errors, run-on sentences and completely unnecessary transitions, the writer just didn’t know when to shut the hell up and get to the point.

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I mean, I go off on tangents from time to time, but damn ….

There’s way too much of this out there in my humble opinion. Frankly I think English education has a lot to do with it.

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Aug 02

Friday Crap Roundup XXV

I’ve somehow made it to the 25th FCR. That’s nearly half a year of these posts. Sneferu was a mere kitten when I started this blog. Today’s he’s a year old.

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And he can hardly contain himself.

We’ve got a few more weeks until Djoser’s birthday in October. I’m sure that will be equally exciting. In the meantime sit back and enjoy the FCR.

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Jul 30

Creative Quiet

Σ went back to the 2T earlier today. For the first time in the better part of a week, things are quiet around here.

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Ayup.
Image credit: Ðeni [back..sort of]

After such an eventful few days, I found myself more exhausted than I reckoned. I took a nap this afternoon. For the first time in a while I very seriously thought about skipping today here at SB. Ah, but what would me public think? Yes, all seven of you ….

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Jul 23

Writing Q & A With Lane

You’d think a topic like Writer’s Tuesday would be easy. At least I did. But when writer’s block gets bad around here, it gets real freakin’ bad.

So today I decided to go to Facebook and Twitter and ask what y’all want to know from a professional writer. I’m glad to say I got enough material to write a halfway presentable entry. Well, at least I did from Facebook.

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I increasingly wonder why I bother with Twitter at all.
Image credit: Ben Ho

Much thanks for letting me bullshit through yet another day here.

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Jul 16

You’re On Report!

Last week’s writing primer proved to be very popular. So much so that I’m seriously considering devoting Tuesdays at SB to a writing workshop of sorts. I’m glad y’all enjoyed it.

When I wrote last week I wasn’t thinking about writing as a school assignment. I personally haven’t done anything like that in over 15 years. However according to my search stats that’s what people want to read about. I should have known better.

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It takes a special kind of mutant to do what I do.

This week, I’m happy to oblige.

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Jul 09

Lane Tells You How To Write!

This is SB’s 150th post since its launch in February. Some of you are no doubt asking, “Lane, how the hell did you write 150 original posts in such a short time?”

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“And is it your ‘sesqui-crap-tennial’?”
Image credit: Idaho State Historical Society

Well, it’s worth noting that SB isn’t my first writing gig by a long shot. I’ve been published in several places over the past 20 years or so. I worked as an acquisitions editor for a small publishing house in Philadelphia. While there a few years ago I helped produce a biography called From Bordello to Ballot Box. I think it’s safe to say I know what I’m doing.

So wanna write like me? The following is by no means an exhaustive how-to, but it should get you started.

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Jul 08

Selling Out To the Yahoos

There was good news of of sorts today. Rick Perry, the longtime yahoo Texas governor, announced he would not run for re-election in 2014. Whatever happens next, I strongly suspect Texas will be the better for it. Come to think of it, he’s not the only yahoo worthy of retirement.

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But here in Idaho, I don’t think we’re that lucky.

And that right there is already more about politics than I wanted to write about.

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Jul 06

Anticlimax on Benjamin

Nine days until 15 July. That’s all I have left until I turn 40. As if that wasn’t weighing on me heavily enough, by sheer coincidence my driver’s license was set to expire that day as well. Like many people, I’ve come to look forward to a trip to the DMV in the much the same way I look forward to a Drano colonic. The midlife crisis element made it just that much worse.

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As the late, great Leslie Nielsen might have said, it left me hollow.
Image credit: Alan Light

Nevertheless, yesterday I ventured out to the Ada County offices on Benjamin Lane to keep myself legal and stuff. Hell, at least it gave me good material to write about over the weekend.

Or so I thought anyway ….

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